Have you experienced a string of bad relationship failures and don’t know why things aren’t working out for you?
My friend Steven went through a bunch of breakups too until he asked me for help. One thing that stood out as Steven was sharing his story was that he sets himself up for failure because he seems incapable of making good decisions.
Steven doesn’t believe he is worthy of true love, support, and everything else a happy and healthy relationship has to offer, so he goes after ladies who are only with him for his money or good looks.
My friend is worthy of so much more; I know that, but he doesn’t believe so.
To set Steven up for dating success, I shared some tips on how he can create a better self-image.
Does any of this sound familiar? Then read on to learn how you can cultivate a healthy self-image and stop denying yourself joy and true happiness.
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What Is a Healthy Self-Image?
First up, a self-image is the mental view, image, idea, or concept you have of yourself that’s based on your self-impressions.
Your view of yourself is based on three things:
Your self-image isn’t 100% positive or 100% negative; instead, how you see yourself flows on a continuum.
Usually, we see ourselves in a more positive light when good things happen to us, like the woman we are interested in liking us back, and we see ourselves more negatively when something bad happens or we fail, such as when a relationship doesn’t work out.
When you have a healthy self-image, you are aware that your perception of self slides from the positive scale to the middle and to the negative side of the scale. It isn’t fixed. And you know that you need to continuously work on your self-image to improve your overall life quality.
Why Is Having a Healthy Self-Image Important in Your Dating Life?
Having a healthy self-image comes with various benefits for your dating life (and other aspects of your life too).
Developing a more positive self-perception means:
7 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image for Dating Success
1. Work on Self-Improvement
When you are working on yourself to improve and heal, one of the aspects you work on is your self-image. It goes hand in hand with self-confidence, self-talk, and self-awareness.
Self-improvement includes learning new skills and creating new healthy habits while eliminating ones that aren’t good for you. Grow, and you’ll feel more positive about yourself, you’ll see yourself more clearly, and you can improve your strengths and weaknesses.
Improve yourself by:
2. Be Honest with Yourself
Be honest with yourself about who you truly are. Look at your strengths and weaknesses because they help create the whole picture of you.
Remember, your weaknesses or shortcomings aren’t bad; you just need to accept them and work on those aspects you can. You have the power to change for the better.
Be honest with yourself by:
3. Find Your Safe People
My mom always said that who you surround yourself with is a reflection of who you are, and unfortunately, unsafe (or toxic) people tend to have a negative influence.
So choose to surround yourself with non-toxic or safe people who support, motivate, care about, appreciate, love, and push you to be better in the best way possible.
Find your safe people by:
4. Celebrate Every Win
You’ve been taught to celebrate going to college, getting your degree, earning a raise, buying your first house, getting married, or being promoted.
Those are big wins, right?
But what about the “small” wins? The ones you probably don’t share because they don’t seem extravagant about?
Every win in your life is important, and the small wins are actually even more so.
Celebrate every win by:
5. Detox from Social Media and Dating Sites
While social media has some benefits, it is also the bane of our existence. People use it to showcase their picture perfect lives (which 99% of the time is inaccurate), and then the rest of us feel bad because we don’t have the perfect romantic partner or we didn’t land our dream love in one go.
And it’s the same with dating sites too. You see how picture perfect the other singles look and feel like you are coming up short.
You compare yourself to others when you should just be focusing on you and your life. You are enough and perfectly imperfect as you are.
So to boost your self-image, take a break from social media and dating sites, or at the very least, limit how you use these platforms. Work on yourself, and then start dating when you feel better about yourself.
Reduce or eliminate social media and dating platforms by:
6. Improve Your Self-Talk
How you talk to yourself influences how you see yourself. When you run yourself down and are overly critical, you’ll see yourself as a waste of oxygen and wonder why you are even here.
But when you change your self-talk, you’ll start feeling better and seeing yourself in a more positive light.
Your mind believes what you tell it so make sure you stop downward spirals of negativity.
Improve your self-talk by:
7. Do Something that Makes You Feel Good
One thing that helps you feel good about yourself is immersing in activities you love. Engaging in a hobby like hiking, journaling, or woodworking relaxes you and improves your self-confidence.
Also take care of you. Get enough sleep, move around more, and choose healthy foods every day.
Engage in positive self-image-building activities by:
When you have a moment, look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? Describe yourself.
Be mindful of the words you use as these give away whether you see yourself in a more positive or more negative light.
When you are aware of what you think of yourself, you can follow the steps above to improve how you see yourself.
Remember, it isn’t a one-and-done process; it’s something you need to work on every day. But it’s so worth it when you start reaping the rewards and attracting worthy singles who see you for you and want to be with you.