Love is one of the building blocks for a lasting, successful, and happy relationship. But being in love isn’t the same as loving someone.
When you fall in love, you are head over heels for your love match. You want to spend every waking moment together, bask in their presence, and chat, touch, and look at them constantly. Feeling in love doesn’t last – usually.
When your relationship is out of the honeymoon phase, the challenges of real life have set in, and loving someone becomes a choice and a decision you make every moment.
So while I’m all for ever-lasting love, there are benefits to staying in love too. And here are proven tips to keep your man in love with (and interested in) you (and make sure you stay in love with him too since a romantic partnership is all about reciprocity).
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1. Show How Grateful You Are for Him
Every person wants to know that someone is grateful for them, and your guy is no different. I’m not saying you need to sing his praises every waking second of every day, but make sure he knows you are grateful for him.
Show your man that you are thankful he exists, that he is your love match, and that he is on your life journey with you. So keep your guy in love with you by being grateful and letting him know it.
You can keep a gratitude journal where you note three to five things you are thankful for about your romantic partner each day or every week. Have a ritual where he reads your journal weekly or monthly.
Or keep notes on an app and share these at random with your man.
Or make a point to tell him that you are grateful. Send him a text message, leave a note in his lunch box, gym bag, or wallet, or tell him over breakfast in the morning or before he goes to sleep at night.
2. Be Your Own Person - Authentically
It’s common for couples to resemble each other after they’ve been together for a while. I’m sure you’ve noticed how husband and wife wear the same plaid shirts, tracksuits, and other outfits? How their hairstyles and facial features match (that you can almost not tell who is who)?
Do you really wanna be that samesie couple?
Well, I’ve got news for you. Your man didn’t fall in love with a cookie-cutter or look-alike of himself. He fell in love with you – when you were still an individual with your own looks, personality, and ideas.
Hold onto your authentic self because that’s who your romantic partner knows, recognizes, and loves. Be her.
3. Spend Quality Time Together
Spending quality time together is essential for a happy and healthy relationship. I’m sure you can’t imagine how your romantic partnership will survive if you barely see each other, right?
Lucky for you, you can kill two birds with one stone here. While you spend time with your guy, you can keep him in love with you.
So plan sexy and romantic date nights, go on new adventures, cloud gaze, and put away any distractions (aka phones and social media) when you go for a cooking or aerial yoga class. Try new things and also indulge in comfort activities.
4. Encourage, Support and Motivate Him
When your man has a challenging day, he wants to know you have his back. The same is true for when he shines and has successful days.
So make sure you always encourage, support, and motivate your romantic partner. Be his biggest cheerleader. And no, that doesn’t mean you have to always agree and say “yes and amen” to whatever.
When needed, stand your ground and share your concerns. And while you do this, you can let your man know that you are in his corner.
Call him during the day to let him know you are thinking of him. Tell him that he’d be a great manager and he should apply for that promotion. Encourage him to share his goals, help him strategize, and value his priorities and successes.
5. Show How Deeply You Care About Him
You man will stay deeply, madly in love with you when he knows how much you love him and how much you care about him. Show him that you have his best interests at heart and go the extra mile for him. Be intentional in your relationship with your man.
Ask your man how he is every day and genuinely care about what he has to say. Be affectionate and meet his emotional needs. Make time for your guy, whether you have dinner together, catch up on some sport with him, or bring him coffee when he’s catching up on mails in the morning.
6. Ensure Your Behavior Is Consistent
How will your man know what to expect when you are all over the place? One minute you are hot, and the next minute you are cold. He’ll be utterly confused – and I don’t blame him.
Be a stable and balanced person and ensure your behavior is consistent. And that’s easy when you live an authentic life where you are perfectly imperfect.
If you are a kind, friendly, and affectionate person, be that way with your man. And if you feel off the day, then let him know it’s you – maybe you had a difficult day or it’s time to make your monthly sacrifice to the moon – and it’s not him causing you to a B*.
When you communicate and you’re honest, your man will show up for you.
7. Use Touch to Your Advantage
It shouldn’t be a surprise that, in general, men love physical intimacy. And no, I don’t mean that you should have sex with him all the time.
You can simply put your hand on his arm or thigh when you sit near him or on his shoulder when you stand and he sits. Or you can stroke the nape of his neck when you pass him (if you are within reaching distance). This doesn’t have to be an interlude for more.
Even a quick hug can do the trick, and did you know that you need a minimum of four hugs a day? Eight is better, and twelve is optimal?
Touch is how your guy feels attachment, and being attached to you reminds him that he’s in love with you.
8. Let Him Enjoy Time in His Bat Cave
You crave your space, and your man craves his. So ensure your man has time and space to be himself and self-care.
If that means he spends a Saturday afternoon in his bat cave reading, playing games, or playing table tennis against himself, let him enjoy it. Or maybe your man loves hanging with his friends at the pub or stadium while they support their local team. So don’t disturb him – unless it’s a real emergency.
Encourage him to take time to enjoy hanging by himself or his bros.
9. Listen to Him
Listening to someone doesn’t mean you are all in your head, focus on what you should say next. When you really listen, you are actively engaged in what that person is saying, and you’ll find clues that their non-verbal communication is sharing with you for context.
You don’t interrupt; you keep healthy eye contact, nod your head at appropriate places, and focus on what your guy is saying and not saying.
10. Ignite the Hero Instinct
All men have an innate need to be the hero, and you can keep your boyfriend, fiance, or husband in love with you for years to come when you trigger his hero instinct. He needs to feel needed and like he’s useful.
You probably don’t want to be the damsel in distress because you are a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need anyone to open doors for you, let you walk ahead of them, or need help carrying heavy stuff or moving furniture. I get it. Women have come so far in fighting for gender equality, and yet in so many ways, we haven’t come far enough.
BUT! And this is a big but. There is value in letting you man be your protector – at least some of the time.
So to ignite his hero instinct, genuinely compliment your man, give him tasks to do (start small if you have trust issues), and ask him for his take on things.
11. Be His Home
Home isn’t a place for everyone; sometimes, home is a person. And when your man’s home is you, you’ve got him, honey. He’ll be in love with you because you are his safe haven. You give him a soft place to fall, a place where he can be himself without fear of being judged or critiqued.
He knows he can confide in you and that his secrets and the darkest parts of himself are yours to safekeep. And he’ll know that you love him unconditionally because that’s what a safe place (you) does.
Final Thoughts: In a Thriving Relationship, Reciprocity is Key For Both Partners
It’s not exactly difficult to keep your man in love with you, but it’s something you have to work on every day. Remember, a relationship must be a two-way street, and your guy needs to put in equal effort to gain and keep your love, support, trust, respect, and loyalty.
A healthy relationship is one where you both reciprocate – you want him to stay in love with you, and he wants the same.
Follow these 12 rules to strengthen your love and ensure your relationship is a success!
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