If you have only dated extroverts previously, courting an introvert might be a different experience.
That’s because if you don’t know how to handle your new introverted partner, you might get bored with them, and you might end your relationship prematurely.
However, dating a loner does not have to be difficult. In this article, I will share information that will enable you to know how introverts behave and the ten tips you can use to ensure that both of you have a long-lasting relationship.
Is Dating Hard for Introverts?
Most people take time to convince someone they like that they want to have a love relationship with them. The situation is even harder for introverts because they rarely show their emotions, making it hard to express their feelings towards their partner.
Besides, loners have a mood swing problem, which puts off their partners. Apart from that, introverts take a lot of time to make up their mind. As a result, some people think that their loner partner is not ready to settle with them after a love relationship proposal.
What to Know When Dating an Introvert
If you are dating an introvert, I’d like to share some little information about them. First, loners like spending time with close friends even if an exciting social event is happening in their neighbourhood.
Therefore, if you invite your introvert partner to a party, they might turn down your offer. As a result, you might think that they don’t want to spend time with you or they don’t like you.
However, you should not be quick to judge your loner partner when they behave like you’re not the kind of person they’d like in their lives. Besides, it would help if you did not think they were angry, depressed, or something was wrong with them.
That is because most introverts prefer to keep quiet. After all, they don’t want to attract a lot of attention. So instead, they choose to take time to know more about their partner before sharing their personal information.
When I was dating a loner, I took time to understand their behaviour, which helped me know what they prefer. As a result, we got along better and became very close lovers after a short time.
TOP10 Dating Tips for Introverts
If you also discover that you are dating an introvert, use the information above to understand them. Then, use the following tips to have a successful dating period and have a long lasting relationship.
1. Don't Try to Change Them
The first tip when dating an introvert is not to try to change them. Remember that loners are not like other partners you’ve dated previously. So, please don’t force your loner partner to do something they are unwilling to participate in.
When I started dating an introvert, I always appreciated them for who they were and gave them time to think things over to know whether they were willing to participate in the activities I proposed or meeting my friends.
The strategy I used paid off because my partner felt more comfortable and happy when hanging out with people.
However, I learned that my partner needed some time alone after spending time together or going out paying. Therefore, I would recommend that you also allow your introverted partner some time to recharge whenever necessary.
2. Be a Trustworthy Partner
In the first few weeks, my loner partner could share very little information about themselves. In fact, when we went out, they spent most of their time listening and only answered my questions with only one or two words.
However, after my spouse gained my trust, they started sharing more information that enabled me to understand them better.
When I realized that my partner was an introvert, I started shifting my focus to give them more time to say what they felt. Using the same strategy, you will discover that your loner partner has something special to share.
3. Take a Different Approach
If you want your relationship with an introverted partner to work out, take a different approach when you start dating. For example, please don’t call and text those regularly as you do when dating an extrovert.
Instead, contact them once or twice per day and start a conversation about something that excites them.
I was lucky because I knew my partner’s interests within a short time. But, if you don’t know what your partner’s interests are, ask them what makes you happy before asking them what they like. However, it is advisable to give your partner time because they might not share the information within the first few days.
But, with time, your loner partner will realize that you’re genuinely interested in their happiness, and they might open up on what makes them happy.
4. Spend Some Time Together Before You Start Attending Different Events
If your partner is not comfortable attending different events in the initial stages of your relationship, spend some time together first until they are ready to attend social events. For example, start by watching movies, going out for dinner, or hiking during the weekend or on your off days.
After a while, your introverted partner might be ready to attend a party when you request them to accompany you to different events.
5. Allow Your Partner to Decide How Much Time They Want to Spend in Events
Even if your partner agrees to accompany you to a social event, allow them to decide how much time they want to spend at the occasion. If they don’t want to stay around until the end of the party, allow them to leave when they want.
It is not advisable to force your introverted partner to stay around even when they feel exhausted because they might refuse to attend another event with you in the future.
I would also recommend that you decide how your partner will be informing you that they want to leave when you’re at a social event. That will enable them to leave without explaining to everyone why they left before the end of the party.
6. Be Prepared to Give Your Partner All the Time They Need
It would help if you gave your introverted partner all the time they need when they tell you that they want to be alone. That includes being ready not to meet with them for one or two days if they request.
However, the situation might not be the same forever. For example, my spouse requested that we don’t meet for several days, especially when something was bothering them.
I always gave them the time they needed, and we were happy when we met after some time. My partner was even willing to share what was on their mind.
Therefore, when your extroverted partner requests to spend some time alone, don’t think that they are avoiding you. Instead, allow them to be alone for some time and meet them when they are ready to talk.
7. Focus on What You Like About Your Partner
If you want your relationship with your introverted partner to work out, focus on what you like about them. Then, let them know that they have something special that makes you feel happy whenever you spend some time together. On the other hand, if you start focusing on the negatives, you might lose interest in your partner, negatively affecting your relationship.
8. Accept to Spend More Time at Their Preferred Place
If your partner prefers to spend more time in their house or any other place, accept to hangout where they feel comfortable. Doing that will enable them to feel more comfortable with you, and they might be willing to hang out with you at your preferred place when you request.
9. Don't Feel Offended When Your Partner Asks You Offensive Questions
Don’t feel offended when your partner asks you offensive questions. For example, when I first met my spouse, they didn’t beat around the bush when they wanted me to provide information.
When they did that, I never felt hurt because I understood they used that strategy to get as much information as possible.
Likewise, if your extrovert partner engages you in a direct conversation, don’t think they want to hurt your feelings. Instead, provide them with the information they require, and you will get along well.
10. If Your Partner is Shy, Let Them Know What You Feel
If your introverted partner is shy, it might take time before they let you know what they feel. As a result, you might feel frustrated when they don’t make a move even after several dates. When this happens, let your partner know what you feel and ask them what they think about having a love relationship with you.
Find out as much information as possible about introverts to know how to handle them and know what to expect from them when you start going out with a loner.
Final thoughts - Play to your strengths
When I realized that I love an introvert, I researched extensively to know more about them. That made it easy to understand loners, and it helped me avoid getting hurt whenever my partner seemed like they were not interested in me.
As a result, we developed a strong bond, and we are currently in a very stable relationship. That is why I recommend that you use the information above to know how to get along with your introverted partner as you will eventually get along well.