Not all of us are outgoing and gregarious. Some of us are shy and somewhat introverted. Of course, being introverted can be measured according to how introverted you are from being a little shy to being very introverted and unable to speak to people because you are socially awkward.
An introverted woman may seem standoffish, but dating a lady who is shy or introverted is totally worth the extra time and effort. Don’t get put off by the withdrawn lady who is the proverbial wall-flower.
Here’s how to get that shy girl you like to open up and begin the best possible relationship. I’ve got some tips to help your relationship blossom as you learn how to date an introverted woman.
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Key Characteristics of Introverts
Introverted ladies aren’t low on confidence at all. They aren’t all nerds, and they definitely don’t need a hero to save them.
They just have a different set of criteria for when they meet people and in deciding who they want to allow into their lives. To date an introverted woman, you will have to know a bit about what makes a woman introverted.
She’s a Deep Thinker
Introverted women tend to be very intelligent, and they think about everything they say or do. They also think about whatever you say and do.
Conversations with an introverted lady will never be dull or boring. Instead, you can expect the equivalent of a mental orgasm in your first real conversation. That is, once you get her to really talk to you.
Introverted Ladies Know What They Want
Expect that once you have gotten past her rather imposing barrier to the outside world, she will know exactly what she wants. She knows if she wants a relationship with you before you even know you’re interested in her.
She’d Rather Text Than Call
When you start getting longer text messages from her, you know you’ve made an impression. Likewise, don’t expect her to call you or chat on Zoom until you’re basically ready for an “I do.” She prefers to write, read, and connect in person than to talk over a phone.
She Doesn’t Need You
It may be one of the hardest things for a guy to accept, but this woman doesn’t need you. She is fiercely independent and not at all reliant on you to make her feel good. But deep inside, when you do make her smile and feel happy, she will treasure you all the more.
On the plus side of her not needing you, she will be loyal to you because she has chosen to be with you.
Dates Will Be Infrequent
Initially, an introverted woman won’t seem to want to spend time with you. She’ll be quite happy to see you once a month or less until she feels more comfortable around you.
Having a girlfriend who doesn’t demand your presence all the time is quite a liberating experience as you will enjoy more freedom, but it comes with the responsibility to not cheat on her or disappoint you—because she will kick you to the curb if you do.
She Will Get Quiet
Introverts withdraw into their own minds to rest. When she’s had a long day at work or has had enough of crowds of people, it may seem like she’s feeling depressed because she becomes really quiet. Don’t let this intimidate or concern you—she’s on recharge mode.
5 Tips for Dating an Introverted Woman
Here are a few great ways to get that quiet girl who seems very aloof to become interested in you.
1. Be Subtle
Introverts are highly intelligent, so if you’re going to walk up to an introvert you are interested in with a clear intention to try and crawl up her pants, she’s going to give you the cold shoulder.
Instead, buy her a drink from afar and walk away. Introverts love mystery, and your apparent disinterested interest will intrigue her.
2. Be Patient
Don’t rush to try and connect with the introvert you’d like to date. Give her time to think about a relationship with you. Move slowly in your advances. Where you’d try for the third date rule with a different girl, this lady won’t be interested when you try to make moves on her.
Instead, be patient, giving her time to adjust to the thought of having you in her life.
3. Be Authentic and Truthful
If you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, you will hit the wall with an introverted girl. Be authentic and real with her. Don’t hide your flaws, she’ll value you for them if you are honest about them.
4. Become Aware of Her Energies
Introverts can have dizzying highs when they feel comfortable with you, but they also need time out to recharge.
So if your introvert girlfriend suddenly seems withdrawn and sits quietly listening to music or reads a book instead of wanting to go out, don’t take it personally. She’s not mad, and she’s not depressed; she’s just tired of people.
5. Be Mentally Stimulating
If you want to keep your introvert girlfriend’s interest, you may need to polish up your IQ and EQ while building on your repertoire of discussion-worthy topics. She’s going to find you dull if all you can talk about is work or other people.
Surprise her with topics like the latest inventions, new poets, alternative music genres, and more.
What to Avoid When Dating an Introvert
If you are just starting off with a relationship with an introverted girl, you need to take it slow. Avoid rushing at all costs. Don’t try to rush her or push her for a sexual relationship.
Chances are she may well be up for a few casual romps in the bedroom, but don’t assume she’s going to let you get to homebase by the third date. Instead, plan a long game.
Watch your tone of voice, and be careful in your choice of words. It may seem like I’m saying you have to walk on eggshells around her, but it’s really just that she’s super self-aware.
Avoid talking about sex on your first date, and don’t try to make her fit into your lifestyle. She may decide to join you at the game on Sunday, but the following week she will be unavailable. Don’t read into it: she’s just had her fill of people.
Try to arrange dates at quiet venues where there are fewer people, and a warm and dark atmosphere will win her over much more than taking her to the state fair will. Avoid loud places where there are many people, noise, and organized chaos.
Does Introverted Woman Mean Antisocial?
Does falling for an introverted woman mean you will be stuck at home and never be social again? Nope, not at all.
Introverted ladies are just different in their socializing skills. They prefer a smaller group of people who are close-knit and loyal. Instead of quantity, she prefers quality.
If you play your cards right, you can make it onto her quality list, and you’ll have found the most amazing partner and friend for life.
Dating an Introverted Woman FAQs
In three essential steps: Do things at her pace, work on your written communication, and be honest in all things. She’s not like other women, but by being self-aware and being authentic, you will have every chance to make that beautiful introverted girl like you.
When the introverted woman starts to open up and speak about her world, you’ve made it to her top x list. If she spends time telling you about her precious collection of Yeats poetry or her grandmother’s antique cook books, she’s showing you what matters to her, and she’s trusting you. She’s officially interested in you.
She’ll be more interested in her own company than in spending time out in groups. To win her heart, you’ll have to convince her that you are worth spending time with, and that you are being honest and up front. She knows how to take care of her own needs, so you’re not there to rescue or save her. Instead, she may prefer that you let her save you.
It’s really easy—space. Give her space to be herself, don’t force her into your world, and instead, try to make it into her world, and she’ll love you completely. Respect her or pay the price of her anger.
Dating an introverted girl may sound like a lot of work. You certainly do have to work harder to get noticed and accepted than with other girls. However, an introverted girl will be the best girlfriend if you are willing to let her stay in her own world while visiting yours.
When you take it slow, you can get her to do social things with you, but be aware of the drain this taxes off her.
Make sure to give her time and space to make up her mind. If an introverted girl chooses you, it’s because of your heart and soul, not your body or wallet—what more could a guy ask?
However, an introverted woman may also decide that she’s not interested in a sexual relationship, in which case, she may become your ultimately loyal platonic partner.