She smiles at you, and before you can head over to chat and see if she’s interested, she walks away. Talk about a mood kill.
How do you tell if a woman is interested in you or if she’s just being friendly?
Even ladies you may already know can come across as flirty when they’re not really interested in anything more than a sociable cup of coffee.
The intricacies of social smiles versus dating interest can be tricky. Luckily, this guide will help you suss out the signs that she’s interested versus signs that she’s just friendly and polite.
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Signs That a Woman Likes You Versus Signs She's Just Being Nice
Short of her putting up a billboard with a flashing sign to say she’s into you, you may have already missed a few less obvious signs that she’s interested, or you may have misinterpreted signs when she’s only being nice.
1. She Always Answers and Is Available
Response time usually equates to how interested a lady is in you. If she responds immediately to your texts, she’s really interested in you. However, if she responds, but then cancels on meeting up, she’s just programmed to be nice with her phone etiquette.
When you ask her out and she shows up every time, she’s definitely throwing some signs your way that she’s keen.
Verdict: Speed of response and being there when you ask her out are clear signs that she’s interested.
2. Distracted and Not Making Eye-Contact
Okay, so this should be a clear sign that she’s not interested, and if she’s still carrying on a conversation with you while showing this, she’s being polite and just doesn’t know how to get away from you.
In rare cases, a girl may be shy, and she’ll look away when you look at her, but when you sneak a peek, she’ll be looking at you when she thinks you’re not looking. If she blushes slightly when looking away, she’s hot for you.
Verdict: Eye contact is important to determine whether a girl likes you, but if she’s not looking at you and appears shy, she’s probably not sure how to tell you she’s into you. Distraction and looking uncomfortable are signs she’s too polite to just walk away, andand she has no interest in you. Perhaps you’re also giving off the wrong signs.
3. Physical Touching
Some ladies love to make physical contact. The problem is that while it makes your heart skip a beat, she may actually just like connecting—with anyone she’s talking to. Watch her in a public setting, and if you notice she touches others too, you’re blowing up the wrong tree.
Politely touching someone to get their attention and to show friendliness isn’t a sign that she likes you.
Verdict: However, if she only touches you, and especially if she has a lingering touch—you’re right on the money. Physical contact is an instinctual thing, which is why women like to touch and kiss before heading to the bedroom.
4. She Always Looks at You
Unlike the previous point where the lady looks away, direct and intense eye contact is a sign that a woman is interested in you. The challenge is knowing whether that interest is romantic or if she’s decided she doesn’t like you.
Direct eye contact, not looking away, and intently following your every move with a roving eye are all good indicators. If you don’t sense hostility, you’re on top of her list. In fact, it may feel as if she’s busy undressing you with her gaze. If you ask for her number, she’ll give it immediately and more.
Verdict: To check whether it’s a romantic interest, try smiling directly at her or winking. She’ll either blush and look away or pout or wink back.
5. Instant Gratitude
While it’s good manners to say thank you when someone does something for you, a woman who likes you will go a little further when you do anything for her. Her gratitude includes suddenly hugging you or grabbing your hand.
If she only likes you, she’ll merely thank you and move on.
Verdict: A sweet thanks is a “I’m being polite,” while a lingering thanks and all the signs of being bowled over are a “I like you.”
6. She Laughs Because of You
Polite ladies often have a little giggle at something they may not even have found that funny. However, when a lady still laughs and continues laughing, even though others have stopped, she’s taken a shine to you. Far from being polite, she wants to keep laughing at all your jokes and stories. For her, your words are pure genius.
Verdict: A brief laugh is politeness, while a long and lusty laugh shows she’s definitely interested in you.
7. She’s Always Asking for Help and Helping You
Friendly ladies are helpful. They like to feel needed, so they tend to do favors for anyone who needs help with everything from opening a door to planning a presentation. However, if a lady likes you, she’ll go out of her way to help you. Not all people in need of help, she’ll only help you.
You will begin to notice how she’s always the one ready with a cup of coffee when you need it, a number for a client at work, or advice on the best route to skip traffic.
Additionally, you’ll find that she approaches you with requests to help her with small tasks. Some may even be silly, like carrying more than she should on her way to the parking lot at work, so you’ll offer to help (because you are a gentleman, of course).
She will rebuff anyone else who offers to help, but she’ll jump at the chance that you can help her. When thanking you, there will be real gratitude and a little more. She’s dying to go on a date with you, so this is the ideal time to ask her out.
Verdict: Keep track of whether she’s asking you for help or asking anyone for help. Does she help you only and with enthusiasm, or does she “butterfly” and help anyone and everyone? You’ll have your answer whether she likes you or not.
8. She Smiles Even Bigger When You’re Around
When you make her happier than anyone else, she’s probably into you. If you notice that she lights up like the sun when you walk into the room, she’s not just being friendly; she’s interested in you.
Some people always look happy when they smile (#duh), but there is a significant difference between a polite happy smile and an “in-love” happy smile. Polite smiles usually don’t get to the eyes. Your lips smile, but the rest of you is disinterested. Interested smiles show more than just the lips and glowing cheeks, there’ll be a spark there.
Verdict: If you make her glow when she smiles at you, she’s interested in you.
When someone mirrors you, they are giving off strongly primitive signals that they like you. We start to use the same words and gestures as the people we look up to and want to be with.
Think of it as a “cave-man dance” that’s still in our genes even today. When she starts to copy you, she’s giving off strong vibes that she likes you (a lot).
However, some people are socially weak, and their way to cope is to copy what an assertive person does. So if she copies other people too, it’s a signal that you should run—more than being friendly, she’s simply unable to stand on her own (#clingyanyone?).
Verdict: Look for mirroring and you’ll know she’s interested, but only if she mirrors you alone.
10. She Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself
Some people are really good at reading others, but nobody puts in the effort for random people they don’t really care about.
So while she may apply some passing effort to read others out of friendliness and to connect for business and leisure, she won’t bother getting to know them well.
However, when she is really interested in you, she will find out everything she can about you. When you talk to her, it’ll be like all your knowledge pours into a fault in her mind, and she stores each word you’ve spoken because it may be a further clue as to who you really are. Yeah, she’s VERY interested in you.
Verdict: Look for signs that she’s listening to everything you say, that she can recall a conversation you had months ago, and that she remembers little things like dates and hobbies. She’s putting in the effort, so she’s interested in you.
Pure friendliness is merely a passing conversation, no sooner heard than forgotten.
Figuring out whether a woman likes you or is merely being friendly can be challenging, and if you read the signs wrong, you can end up with egg on the face.
Luckily, there are a few signs that are hard to miss such as when she touches you repeatedly, looks at you constantly, laughs with you all the time, and mirrors your actions or words.
Love is hard, but when you find that special person who’s more than friendly with you, it’s totally worth it. Read more on the stages of a relationship, from meeting to dating, in my next article.