I’m sure you are elated when your device goes ping-ping-ping-ping with all the text messages you get from the online dating sites or apps you’re on.
I get it.
Finding love these days is no easy feat, and you never know when a text message from your love match could lead to something real, wonderful, and lasting.
But are all the text messages you get on a dating app real? Or are there fake messages meant to make you feel good for an instant before you realize they are devoid of true connection and lack a lover on the other end? Or are these fake messages just another way to get you to participate in a romance scam or become the victim of one?
If you are worried about receiving fake messages on the (International) online dating sites you frequent, here are tips to help you identify a fake message so you can ignore these, focus on the real ones, and get on with your life and with love.
Why Trust Doves-of-Love
Tip 1. Messages in Your Inbox Before Your Profile Is Up and Running
Are there messages promising to love and adore you in your inbox before you’ve even created an online dating profile? These spam messages from dating sites appear almost as soon as you click “Sign Up” and are complete with your name, email address, and a few other basic information bites.
You’ve got to ask yourself: Why would a person message you and want to start a conversation when they don’t even know a single thing about you? The answer: They wouldn’t.
These messages are the result of an Eastern European dating site bot. The bot sends messages to everyone signing up to the dating site the instant they’ve signed up. It’s synthetic love to lure you in.
The messages aren’t real, and if you message back, you’re chatting to an artificial intelligence (AI) chat bot that wants to entice you to use the dating app and spend money – on nothing because a bot can’t love you.
2. The Message Asks You to Click to Translate the Message
Some romance scams on online dating sites work by sending you messages in a foreign language but then you need to click and pay to have them translated. Or, translation is offered as an additional service.
While the love of your life may not speak a language you are proficient in, there shouldn’t be costs from the site (or rather, it’s often an unknown third-party) to have these translated.
Translation at a fee messages are fake and a scam.
3. The Message Request that You Click to Reply (But Pay First)
While most sites demand that you become a premium or paying member to reply to messages (and you sign up for a subscription or pay via credits or coins), there may be messages in your inbox that require you to pay exorbitant amounts. Or, you pay per word, plus extra for an emoji, sticker, photo, or video.
4. The Message Has a Link You Need to Click
A text message with a link, whether to a third party translation app or your beau’s bank account (because he’s broke and needs to pay medical expenses for his mommy), is a big red flag. While the message from your love match is “real,” it isn’t legit because he’s trying to scam you out of money.
Or, the link (once clicked) may contain spyware to grab personal and sensitive details off your phone.
5. The Message Is Full of Grammar and Spelling Mistakes
When you first meet someone (even online), you want to put your best foot forward so you can make a good first impression. That means you’ll be mindful of how you want to present yourself to your love match and you’ll take extra care when crafting a text message.
While it may contain a spelling or grammar error or two, it won’t be so bad to be #trash.
If you receive a message that is just garbage in how it’s written, either your date is smashed and drunk texted you or you got a fake message (probably meant to entrap you into responding and then becoming the victim of a scam).
6. The Message Is Out of Context or Generic
If you receive a message that’s completely out of context or so generic it’s probably been sent to thousands of online daters, it’s likely that the online dating platform’s bot has been hard at work (read also: Dating Sites Reviews – How to Choose the Best Dating Service).
7. You Get Rapid Replies to Your Messages - Every Time
It’s wonderful to get an instant reply and keep firing messages back and forth, but considering everyone leads busy lives, this isn’t always possible. Yet, when you get quick (almost instant) replies to your messages 100% of the time, you’ve gotta start wondering.
And yes, there is a bot on the other end, sending you messages and replies at the speed of light.
Or, the dating site may have employed someone to do their scamming for them. This is especially the case if you pay for each message, meaning you spend tons of money at the end of each week on the online dating platform.
8. A Message Asks for Personal or Sensitive Information
The person you fall in love with and who’s in love with you should want the best for you, and that means respecting your boundaries and not asking (or pushing) for personal information – especially early on in the relationship.
A message that does request sensitive information should put you on edge. Why is the love match requesting such information? Isn’t your safety important to them? What do they want to do with your information?
While sharing personal details is part of getting to know your love match, you’ve gotta be careful of being scammed.
9. The Message Is Written in an Urgent or Aggressive Tone
A person who is really interested in you won’t do anything to put you in harm’s way. Yet, when you get messages that are super urgent or written in an aggressive tone, that’s a huge warning sign.
Messages crafted with urgency or aggressiveness want you to act without thinking because if you’d taken a chance to breathe and think about the message, you’d ignore it or not reply.
An urgent message may be a request for financial assistance or to share information, while an aggressive message may be a threat. Either way, steer clear of these fake messages.
10. Message from a Dating App You Haven’t Signed Up To
Yip, this can happen too. There are many sites that sell your personal information, so it’s possible to get fake messages from an online dating site or app you haven’t signed up to.
It’s essential to be wary of these and block these senders from your inbox. In fact, don’t respond or even click on these emails or texts if you suspect them to be fake, as a click can activate malware or spyware that can invade and compromise your phone or laptop’s security settings.
What to Do When You Receive Fake Messages on a Dating Platform
You may feel elated getting all the messages in your inbox, but once you realize many (or most) of them are fake, what’s a lady or guy to do?
Follow these tips when your inbox on the online dating site is filled with real or suspected fake messages:
It’s never nice to get fake messages, and it’s even worse when you fall for a romance scam and someone steals your financial information or your identity. Recovering from that kind of heartache and disappointment ain’t easy.
So rather be alert, identify a fake message, and make sure you don’t engage with it.
Messages from real love interests on online dating apps and sites shouldn’t and won’t look (or smell) like a fake.
Learn more about romance scams and use these 11 clever questions to unmask a romance scammer.