Being in a long distance relationship is challenging. You don’t get to see each other very often, time zones cause extra stress, and it’s easy to feel neglected and forgotten.
But how do you know your guy is losing interest in you and your relationship? Are you just imagining things and overthinking?
It’s time to get out of your head, take a step back, and see if any of the signs that he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship ring warning bells.
If they are, you need to find time to chat to your romantic partner and get clarity on where things really stand. Maybe he is just distracted by work. Maybe he wants to reach out to you but feels like you are the one pulling away.
But before you do anything, here are the signs that your man is losing interest.
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1. You Spend Less Time Together
The time that you do get to spend together in a long distance relationship is important, and it should be quality time because you have so little of it. But when you look back and realize that you are spending less and less time together, he may be losing interest.
Before you judge and assume he’s kinda done with you, ask yourself if you are trying everything to make time for each other. Is juggling different time zones too much, or is work just busier at the moment?
If you are trying to make time for him and he doesn’t, then you know the jig is up: He is losing interest in you.
2. He Calls and Texts Less
At the beginning stages of your relationship, your guy was probably all over you – not just physically but in wanting to spend every moment with you. When you couldn’t see each other face to face, he’d text and call and do anything to reach out.
Even just a “hi, thinking about you” or sending you a funny meme were ways in which he made contact.
But now, he isn’t doing that. You are lucky if he does call or text, and the time between the messages and hearing his voice are getting longer and longer.
If you know he isn’t super busy with work or dealing with a challenge, it is possible that he isn’t as interested and lovey-dovey anymore. And your relationship may be on the fritz.
3. He Always Has Excuses
Besides not spending enough or any time together and missing each other because of time zones and responsibilities, your guy always has an excuse ready.
You call and he doesn’t answer. You make a date to get some quality time in and he doesn’t show – or only has 5 minutes for you.
If you ask him why (and sometimes you don’t even have to ask), it’s excuse upon excuse.
The truth is that if you are important to him, he’ll make time for you. But since he isn’t doing that, you clearly aren’t his #1 priority. This is a clear sign that something is wrong and you are not interesting enough to him.
4. The Conversations Feel Forced
Remember when you just started seeing each other and you could talk the whole night through until the sun came up and then some? The conversation just flowed and it felt easy and organic.
Now, think back to your last few conversations.
Did you just chat, jumping from one topic to the next and losing time because you had too much to say to each other?
No?
I’m sure the conversations are feeling like they are forced, right? You don’t know what to say to each other besides exchanging pleasantries. And before you know it, you’ve run out of small talk topics and the silence that follows is just plain awkward. Even making small talk is uncomfortable.
Forced conversations are a clear warning sign that something is wrong in your long distance relationship.
5. He Doesn’t Call or Text Back
There was a time in your relationship when the two of you would drop anything to answer the phone and reply to messages. I get that we all lead busy lives, but if you love someone, it’ll feel like you can’t wait to hear from them.
I know how I feel when my phone pings and I know it’s my husband texting me. Sure, I’ll finish the dishes (or whatever I’m busy with) and then reply when I have a moment to myself. But until I can reply, I can’t wait to read my husband’s message.
When your boyfriend or husband doesn’t feel like that and he doesn’t call or text back in a reasonable time, you know that he isn’t as interested anymore.
6. You Give and Give and Give
In your relationship, is giving and taking mutual and balanced between you two? Or is your long distance relationship more one-sided with you always giving, giving, and giving some more and your partner just always (or mostly) taking?
A healthy relationship needs to have a balanced give and take, and sure, it’s not always 100% balanced. Sometimes you need a little more, so you take more, but then the roles reverse and that’s where the balance comes in.
But your relationship isn’t like that, is it? You do all the giving, and your partner just takes and takes. It’s exhausting to put in all the effort to keep your relationship afloat.
One thing’s for sure. Your romantic partner isn’t as interested in you as you are in him if you are doing all the giving.
7. No Plans or Talk About the Future
It’s normal for couples who love each other to talk about the future. Usually, the other person is part of any future plans, or you would indicate that you want them to be.
Has your boyfriend or partner stopped talking about the future? Or, if he does mention future plans, are you still part of them?
No talk of future plans that include you should be a clear sign of just where you stand, right?
Yeah, I feel ya. It hurts when you realize that your partner doesn’t see you as part of his future anymore.
8. He’s Not Excited to See You
Did you guys make plans for a future visit? Maybe you are going to see him in a few weeks or he is flying out to you?
I bet at the start you were both super eager to see each other and just be near each other again. You couldn’t wait until the distance was gone – even if just temporarily.
While you may still feel that way, your guy doesn’t. When you mention seeing him in a few weeks and talking about what you can get up to, he changes the topic or tells you the trip is canceled (for whatever reason). Or, he just acts all blasé about it.
He is clearly not excited to see you, and it’s possible that the distance has made him think and reevaluate your relationship. He hasn’t broken things off, but he isn’t as interested in you as he was before.
9. His Tone Has Changed
Have you noticed how your partner’s tone isn’t so lovey-dovey, warm, and endearing anymore? It’s something else. Not quite cold, but it’s definitely devoid of the love and affection that were present previously.
The change extends further, though. He doesn’t call you by terms of endearment anymore. “Baby,” “Cupcake,” “Love muffin,” “Hunny bunny,” or “My love” has left the building.
The writing is on the wall. He isn’t interested in a long term relationship with you anymore.
10. It’s Blinkers on with Relationships Problems
In a healthy relationship, you always want to be there for each other, supporting, holding space, and facing problems together because you know that you are stronger as a team. It’s the two of you against the problem, and together, you can overcome it.
But lately, you’ve realized that he isn’t interested in being there for you anymore and even less so when you want to discuss relationship issues. He puts his blinders on or sticks his head in the sand, ignoring the problem and telling you that you are imagining things.
Except you aren’t. But he doesn’t want to face the music, talk about the problems, and help you find a solution.
Someone who loves you will say, “I’m here. What can we do to fix it? I don’t wanna lose you.” Your BF isn’t doing that, and you can’t make him show up in your relationship. It’s clear that he ain’t interested in you or your long-term relationship.
Putting It Together
It’s heartbreaking to realize that your partner doesn’t feel the way you feel about him and that his interest in you and your relationship is dwindling (or has completely emptied).
How many of these signs that your boyfriend or husband is no longer interested in you (or is losing interest) resonated with you?
No matter the number, you do need to talk to your loved one. Have an honest conversation and try to find out why he is calling you less, making excuses, and doesn’t give back.
If you two can’t work it out, it’s time to leave and let go. You are worthy of love, attention, and affection. Remember that.
Worried that your relationship isn’t a healthy and happy one? Here are the main warning signs that you are in a toxic relationship.
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