Relationships are easy sometimes, and then, just as you’re comfortably soaring on cloud nine with a glass of bubbly in one hand and a canapé in the other, it can take a nosedive again resulting in grappling with obstacles, misunderstandings, and issues that just suddenly seem to sneak up on you.
An ideal relationship should be able to maintain a constant sense of balance, and when something disruptive occurs, it can be restored quickly and effectively due to both partners focusing on the development of specific relationship goals.
Below are four goals that will give your love mobile large, tough wheels in order to run straight over those bumps on the road of life without even feeling the smaller ones.
While reading these there are some important factors to focus on.
The first one is that these goals should never become passive components in your relationship, and the second is that you need to incorporate active communication in your relationship in whatever you’re busy doing.
#1. Learning Is Always Going To Be Part of The Process
The older, the wiser, right?
But do you ever reach a point where you know everything about your partner, they know everything about you, and you just don’t have to focus on learning about relationships, life, and each other anymore?
Once you reach a stage where you start thinking in that direction, you’ll start to notice that, suddenly, things go wrong and you don’t know why. The reason for these unexplainable events is most likely attributed to the fact that you, your partner, or both, have decided to abandon the learning process and are now using existing knowledge to tackle situations that are new to you.
This can be successful to some extent, but if not approached with the attitude of the perpetual learner, it’s harder to agree on things and reach a common point of agreement when you need to solve an issue as a couple.
When you and your partner reach a phase in your relationship that you found specifically challenging and you made it through, a great way to celebrate your win and make it an even bigger success is by discussing what you learned from the experience.
What did you learn about yourself? Additionally, what did you learn about your partner and the strength of your bond?
Learning and reflection of the learning process seal in the love, admiration, and appreciation that makes a deep love between two people so special.
#2. Remain Two Individuals
When you and your partner have been together for quite some time, it’s easy to start feeling like you’ve become one “item” instead of two individuals. However, this can start to stifle your sense of self and your need for individuality, even if it only happens to one of you.
If your partner starts feeling this way, don’t be offended. It’s crucial for the health of your relationship that you still keep developing yourselves as individuals and grow separately to complement each other as your relationship grows.
A great way to do this is to have days where each of you focuses on your own things. This is often called self-care or me-time for women, and the same can be applied to men. If you’ve neglected your friends because you’ve been too caught up in your relationship, make time for them, even if it’s only to chat on the phone or to keep in touch.
If you like doing things on your own, go out and have a coffee or a glass of wine and enjoy watching the people walking by. There are endless possibilities, depending on what your hobbies are and whether you’d like to try something new.
Additionally, this doesn’t mean that you and your partner suddenly care less about each other — in fact, it will have the opposite effect and you will gain respect and admiration for your partner because they are working on improving themselves.
On that last note, keep in mind that the best way to remain two individuals in a relationship is to remain two healthy individuals, which means healthy activities and habits that develop a better you for the greater good of your partnership.
#3. Work Together to Manage Finances
This can be a tricky one. I personally don’t like discussing finances at all because I like to shop and my partner likes to save! So, there is constant negotiation taking place, even though we acknowledge each other’s needs and I know that saving is crucial for our future.
My mother used to say, “when financial troubles come knocking on the front door, love and commitment suddenly disappear out the back door.” I never really thought much of this when I was younger, but when I started making my own money, got involved in a long-term relationship with my partner, and we suddenly realized we needed to discuss each other’s financial “habits,” it rang true to me.
Sharing financial responsibility doesn’t mean that you have to be married in a community of property where what’s yours is also your partner’s according to law.
What it does mean is that there needs to be a spirit of teamwork and camaraderie between partners when dealing with finances because both need to be on the same page about what they want to do with the money even though they may have differences, and they need to accept each other’s little spending habits.
Being too finicky about wanting to get a coffee every morning on your way to work if you budget for it is not reasonable. On the other hand, so is taking your partner’s credit card and maxing out that plastic. You get the idea.
The focus should not as much be on how you and your partner handle your finances but specifically on how important it is for it not to become a weapon you use against each other in the relationship. Be a team.
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#4. Best Friends and Forever Lovers
Which one is more important in a serious relationship — being the bestest of friends or the most passionate of lovers? Both play an equally important role, and both flames need to be kept alive.
If you and your partner truly care about each other, the “you don’t get that much sex when you get older” idea wouldn’t exist in your mind. Each couple is different and their sexual habits, likes, and traditions will be too. If you strive to focus on this as part of keeping your relationship healthy and thriving, then one or both partners won’t be complaining.
True friendship saves a relationship when times are so tough that nothing else can. Here, you strip yourself bare, look your partner in the eye, and show that you are still there, with them, because you love them for their whole being and not just on a physical level.
Friends and lovers are two different aspects of a relationship, and sometimes in romantic encounters, the lines can blur.
However, these aspects need both to be treated with lots of respect and nurtured throughout your journey together. You don’t only need passion and romance to keep the flame burning; you need a friend and a soul mate.
Final Takeaway: See Life as an Adventure That You’re in Together
Life is hard. It has been hard in the past, it may be currently at its hardest for you, and there will be hard times in the future.
So, how do you deal with these hard times when they feel so absolutely impossible to process?
As ludicrous as this may sound, it’s some of the best advice I’ve ever received: Let go of the anxiety and see life as an adventure — the journey you were meant to walk with your partner.
After all, you’ve been preparing for these times by working on your relationship goals. Allow them to bring you closer together and make your love grow more and more every day.