Joining a dating site or app is an excellent way to dive into the dating scene. That said, you should offer the best and most authentic version of yourself to boost your odds and find a match.
Before I got married, I was so into this one guy that I completely misread (and maybe altogether missed) some very obvious and painful signs that he simply didn’t want a relationship with me. That’s a hard pill to swallow for anyone, no matter your age or how far along in the relationship you had thought you were.
If you think you are missing the subtle hints, then I’ve got 5 signs for you that will make it clear he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Before we go into these painful signs, let’s take a look at some signs that he is actually into you.
9 Signs He Is Actually Into You
If your man is really into you, he will make it evident by the little actions and kindnesses he shows you. Personally, I wouldn’t say I like grand gestures and professing one’s undying love over social media. I prefer the little personal details.
Basically, if he’s into you, then you shouldn’t doubt him or yourself. He will be giving you clear signals that he wants to make this official.
Here are a few signs that he’s into you:
5 Painful Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You
Looking back now, I should have picked up on some of these signs that he didn’t want to commit to a relationship with me. It can sometimes be hard to see what is staring you right in the face when the heart is involved.
If you have reached this point, then from my experience, it’s time for you to make a decision.
Are you going to continue fighting for a one-sided relationship?
Or are you going to throw in the towel and find a partner who is actually into you? Let these 5 signs (although painful) help you make this decision.
These are the signs that helped me realize it was time to move on. I went into a new relationship with my eyes wide open, and I paid closer attention to the signals my love interest was sending.
1. You Never Seem to Make the Cut
This sign had to be one of the worst signs for me to deal with. Behind closed doors, we made so many plans to go on vacation together or even just visit friends for a simple cup of coffee. He was always so enthusiastic, and he seemed genuinely excited about it.
Without fail, about 2 hours before we were set to go watch a football game with his friends (for example), he would suddenly bail on me. At first, I would brush it off and believe his excuses, but then it became a regular thing.
It’s not a great feeling when you feel like your person is embarrassed of you (at least, that’s what I used to think). I mean, it’s kinda obvious that he’s not keen on taking things to the next level if he doesn’t think you are ready to meet his family yet.
If your man ditches you for his friends often or fails to follow through when you’ve made plans, then it’s definitely something you need to pay attention to. Especially if he can make time for his friends, but not for you. This is a clear sign that you just don’t make the cut in this social or personal life. #soulcrushing
2. Just Another Booty Call
Probably one of the most brutal blows to a lady’s heart is when she finds out that she is nothing more than a booty call to her partner.
Are you sitting at home alone waiting for him to text or call you because he misses you, and then receive a random text that he is coming over, but you know, he can’t stay long. (Sounds familiar? Yeah, same).
At the end of the day, you can try and fool yourself. But if he comes over, you hardly talk (because it’s all about sex), there’s an awkward silence after you’ve been intimate, and he gives you his thanks (maybe not even!) and leaves again, then I hate to break it to you – you are just a booty call to him. He may as well have just shaken your hand.
Unfortunately, when you realize this, you will be gutted and confused. While I am sad to say, he will feel like there’s nothing wrong as you aren’t a couple (in his mind), and I can guarantee he will be texting you again but it won’t be because he misses you. This sign alone is a big warning sign that your relationship is not going anywhere.
3. He’s Never Made It Official
Have you ever heard your partner refer to you as his girlfriend (or partner if you’re into new-age lingo)? Whether it’s among friends, family, or when you are on your own?
This is a subtle sign that he doesn’t see what the two of you have as a relationship.
These emotions can be very confusing, especially if you feel that you are a couple. Unfortunately, guys don’t express their wants or needs clearly and often assume that you will just “get it,” which isn’t fair on you.
Try bringing up the question of whether he sees the two of you in a relationship together. If he continues to brush the subject off, you can be sure he’s not interested in a relationship with you.
You may also find that he spins it around and tries to make you feel guilty for wanting him to admit that it’s official, and that he feels you think he is letting you down.
Another favorite line that I’ve heard countless times is, “I don’t like to put a label on things.” This isn’t some modern dating thing, and it’s your partner’s way of saying they don’t want to commit to a relationship of any kind.
4. He’s Emotionally MIA
If only we could read their minds, this whole dating thing would be a whole lot easier. When you’ve had a bad day at work or you’ve had an argument with one of your friends, you obviously want to vent to your partner and have their support.
If he’s emotionally unavailable, you will notice that he disappears when things get a bit uncomfortable, or he might just switch off and not react to your feelings. They also have a tendency to push people away and don’t enjoy being intimate (other than physical intimacy, that is).
This is hard to deal with, as you want to be there for your partner, and you want him to be there for you when you need him. Sadly, this isn’t often something that can change overnight.
5. You Don’t Feature in His Socials
Social media has become a massive platform where we can share almost anything, from what we had for breakfast to grandma’s 90th birthday party.
Most people have Facebook accounts now, and if your partner has one and posts on it regularly, you would expect that he mentions you somewhere on his page or acknowledges you under his bio as “in a relationship with …”
When I didn’t feature on my then-boyfriend’s social pages, I felt like he was ashamed of me, and that’s why he didn’t want to post anything about me or us together. It felt like I wasn’t important to him or that he wasn’t thinking of me.
Facebook can also mess with your head, especially if you see him openly commenting and posting on other women’s profiles.
That being said, you might be a private person, and you don’t mind the fact that you aren’t on his Instagram or Facebook page. Then you should pay attention to the other signs that he isn’t actually into you.
Last Thoughts on Him Not Wanting a Relationship With You
Now that you know what the signs are, you have an important decision to make. If you want a relationship with him, but you can’t read how he feels, sometimes it’s just easier to ask him outright.
From what I’ve learned, it’s also important to remember that not all of us are the same, and some people genuinely are just terrible at expressing their feelings. (#understatementoftheyear) Regardless, there comes a time when enough is enough, and a decision has to be made so that you don’t end up wasting one another’s time.
It took me a long time to finally face the truth and let go of trying to turn whatever we had into a relationship. Besides, you shouldn’t try to force someone to be with you if they’re clearly not interested in a relationship.
You deserve better.