Contrary to what society has us believing, not everyone needs to be in a relationship to have a successful and fulfilling life. Another person can’t make you whole – you are already a whole person, and a romantic partner (or any other person in your life) simply adds to your joy.
You may also not be ready for a relationship right now as you are focused on your family, career, or self-healing process. That is okay. And you may never (again) want to have a romantic partnership, and that is also more than okay.
If you don’t think a relationship is right for you, here are the signs to know for sure.
Reasons Why You Can Trust Krystyna
12 Signs a Romantic Relationship Isn’t for You
There are loads of articles and advice about romantic relationships, from guides to help you find the one and how to form a romantic connection to knowing when you need to call it quits and the steps to identifying red flags.
There aren’t, however, many people who actually believe that it’s okay to NOT be in a relationship or ever want a romantic relationship. Read more: 5 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You
Well, I want you to know there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you if you know that a relationship just isn’t for you. You need to do you; that’s your purpose in life.
If you aren’t sure you want to be in a relationship, these signs will help you out.
1. You Want to Focus on Yourself
There are a variety of reasons you want to be focusing on yourself right now and not add the complication that is another human being:
2. Expecting Drastic Life Changes
Getting into a relationship when you are expecting major life changes is a big no no. You may be planning to move abroad to teach English or your company may be moving you to another country for a year or two. You may also be planning a sabbatical and want to go find yourself in a Tibetan monastery.
When big changes (and sometimes even small changes) are happening, being in or entering a relationship may not be right for you.
3. You’re Hung up on Your Ex
When you are still in love with your ex, a relationship with a new partner shouldn’t be on your to-do list. Instead, you should take the time you need to work through your feelings, reflect on why the relationship ended, and come to terms with being by yourself.
4. You Don’t Feel the Need for a Relationship
Your life may already be full and fulfilling, so you may question the why of having a romantic partner. Perhaps you are your ailing parent’s caretaker, or your job keeps you more than occupied, or maybe your friendships fulfill that need to have someone special in your life.
If you know there isn’t time for a romantic relationship and you don’t need that type of connection, then you shouldn’t try to force yourself into romance with someone.
5. You Have Trust Issues
If you’ve been hurt badly in the past – by parents, romantic partners, friends, mentors – and you have issues trusting others, then a relationship may not be right for you.
A healthy romantic partnership requires you to trust the other person; without trust, you can’t build a successful relationship.
6. You Don’t Know Who You Are
I believe that you can only have a healthy and successful relationship with another person when you are self-aware and know who you are. Of course, we grow as we age and experience life, but you should have a basic idea of who you are before you become romantically involved with someone.
If you don’t know who you are – gender or sexually – take the time you need to figure that out. You can definitely go on dates and explore, but make your intentions known (that you aren’t ready or into relationships right now) so your date doesn’t get their hopes up.
7. You’ve Had Bad Luck in Love
Being unlucky in love, no matter how hard you try to make your relationships work (and they don’t), is a sure-fire sign that relationships just aren’t for you. However, you also shouldn’t give up simply because you may not have met the right partner just yet.
8. You Love Casual Flings
There’s nothing wrong if you like one night stands and casual dalliances with many partners. You simply love the chase and the newness of being with someone new every time. But a relationship may not be for you when you like to keep it casual.
9. You Are Quick to Invest
If you are planning marriage and babies before the first date has ended, then you are quick to invest. You fall in love quickly (or it’s mere infatuation), and it’s likely that you love the idea of a relationship and being with someone in a romantic sense more than you love the person or the actual hard work that is a real partnership.
It’s best to wait and realize that relationships just aren’t for you – not until you can fall out of love with the idea of romantic love.
10. You Are Unhappy
A relationship isn’t going to fix your life or you. The whole concept that someone else completes you is bogus, and if you are unhappy with your life and/or who you are, you sure aren’t going to be happy when you are romantically linked with anyone else.
11. Your Friends Are Your Priority
There’s nothing worse when your friend ditches you so they can be with their romantic someone. But while your friends are important and A priority in your life, they can’t be THE priority when you are in a relationship.
Your partner needs to be a priority too, and balancing your loved one with your friends is essential. But if you only want to spend time with your besties, that’s perfectly fine. Just don’t add a relationship to the mix and place extra pressure to be “chocolate” to everyone.
12. You Feel Like You Should Be in a Relationship Coz Everyone Else Is
This is a major red flag that you should not be in a relationship. Just because you see couples in love everywhere – on your TV screen, Facebook and Insta feeds, and whenever you go out – does NOT mean that you should also hookup and be in a relationship with the first partner who crosses your path.
Nope. Just no.
I can promise you that you’ll have way more fun dating yourself and being self-partnered.
And there you have it: Signs or reasons a relationship ain’t right for you.
Remember that you need to live your life on your terms. If you let someone else – like your parents or society – dictate how you should live, you are not going to be happy. And that includes whether you should be in a romantic relationship.
You know what’s right for you. If being with a partner in a relationship isn’t it for you, then you should accept that and make peace with it. Don’t let anyone tell you what you need or should have. Live your life your way.