No relationship stays in the crazy-in-love honeymoon phase forever. Unfortunately, real life gets in the way of your relationship all too easily – if you let it.
If you and your partner don’t keep working on your relationship, it may break down.
Finding yourself in a broken relationship and not knowing what you can do to fix things between you and your loved one is excruciating. You still love them. You still want them in your life. You want to go back to the way things were before.
But can you? Yes, if you and your partner want it badly enough and are willing to work on your relationship.
How can you fix your damaged or broken relationship? With these easy and effective methods, which you’ll learn about today.
What Is a Broken Relationship?
A broken relationship doesn’t look the same for everyone. Most couples associate a broken relationship with cheating or infidelity, abuse, serial spending, and drug or alcohol problems. But these are what happens if your relationship is broken; they aren’t the reasons why your relationship broke down.
The road to a broken relationship is a gradual one. You may not even notice something is amiss in your relationship with your partner until one day when the signs start showing up.
A damaged relationship looks differently to everyone, but you realize your relationship isn’t intact or what you want it to be.
Signs Your Relationship Is Broken
Sometimes we are so in survival mode, trying to just make it to the next moment or the next day that signs of a broken relationship may not be obvious. But when you take a moment, you’ll realize the following:
- You get don’t along with your partner as much or as often as you used to (it’s seldom that you do get along)
- You aren’t satisfied with your relationship, and if you rank it, it scores less than 50%
- You are losing hope, if you haven’t already
- You feel angry, frustrated, and unhappy and that your partner isn’t supportive
- You don’t feel emotionally safe
- There’s limited or no communication between you and your partner
- There’s no connection or intimacy
- You constantly fight or argue, even about things that don’t actually matter
Can You Fix Your Relationship?
Yes! You can fix your relationship if you really want to and it’s worth it.
Does your partner feel the same way? Yes? Then yay for you. Your chances of fixing your relationship increases.
But there are times when you are better off ending a relationship. Here are the signs to look out for when you need to end a relationship.
10 Ways a Couple Can Fix Their Broken Relationship
Fixing a broken relationship starts with identifying what’s wrong. If you have trust issues, then that’s what you need to work on. If you don’t feel connected, find ways to invite connection.
Here are the most effective ways you and your partner can fix and rebuild your damaged relationship:
1. Do DIY Therapy
Sure, you can see a psychologist or couples therapist if that is what you both want. But if you are in a long term relationship or your insurance doesn’t cover the cost of therapy, then you need alternatives.
DIY is that alternative. There are lots of credible websites from therapists with workbooks, exercises, Ted Talks, and more than you and your loved one can work through to help you work on your relationship.
2. Connect Again
A connection between two partners is the glue that holds you together. And there are various ways in which you can connect with your loved one.
You can invite connection by asking them what they think of X or did they see Y.
Or plan a date night where it is just the two of you – no phones to distract you. If you’ve forgotten how to communicate with your partner, you can write down thoughts and questions you had during the week and share them on your date. Or look at icebreakers or deep questions to ask your partner so you can connect again.
3. Learn to Ask
A big communication breakdown happens in relationships when one partner assumes the other should just know. For example, they should just know that you are out of milk, that the kids need help with homework, that the dishes need washing, or that laundry needs folding.
And then when they don’t do what they supposedly should’ve known they should do, you are full of critique and accusations.
Talk to your partner and ask them for what you need. Maybe you feel overwhelmed with all the chores that need to be done, so ask them to help you with certain things around the house, or take turns doing things.
4. Stop the Blame Game
When you want to fix a broken relationship, there are also things you need to do by (and about) yourself. Stopping the blame game is one of them.
If you want to stay in the relationship and fix it, own that decision and stop blaming your partner for stuff and become aware of any assumptions and judgments you have about your partner.
Blaming your partner and not taking responsibility for your share isn’t going to help fix your relationship. And any assumptions and judgements you hold only lead to resentment and disconnection.
5. Look Inward
Looking inward and reflecting is something else you need to do by yourself.
Consider: What is holding you back in your relationship? Are you honest about your boundaries, desires, and fears with yourself and your partner?
You need to work on yourself too so you can heal from past trauma and wounds. You can share this journey or parts of it with your partner, so that you can be more mindful and show up and be the partner your loved one needs.
6. Don’t Shy Away From the Difficult Conversations
Even thinking that you need to have a difficult conversation with a loved one is enough to raise your stress and anxiety levels, never mind starting that conversation, having it, and finishing it – like adults.
But these kinds of conversations are important, and both of you need to put on your proverbial “big girl panties” and deal with it.
Chat openly and honestly about what is bothering you. Listen to when your partner speaks, and instead of thinking about your reply, just sit, breathe, and listen attentively. Use “I” statements.
And when you don’t understand, feel hurt, or start to get angry, pause. Ask your partner to clarify what they meant so you can be on the same page and not just assume and get angry.
Remember that you are both vulnerable and this isn’t an easy conversation for either of you. Be kind and patient.
7. Step out of Your Comfort Bubble
Being inside your comfort zone or bubble is easy, whether it’s a healthy place to be or not. But to fix and work on your relationship, you need to step out of the bubble, learn, and grow – both as a person and as a couple.
When you need and want to rebuild your relationship, you need to shake things up. Learn to talk to each other. Learn to spend time together. Learn to forgive. And learn to listen.
Go with your partner when they practice a hobby of theirs and let them see you in action when you do your hobby. Go on adventures together. And explore your city while you and your partner connect.
8. Work on Trust
When your loved one has broken your trust, it’s really difficult to imagine trusting your partner again. But to move forward and rebuild your relationship, you need to give your partner a chance to earn your trust again.
And if you have broken their trust, work on rebuilding it. Show up when you promise to be somewhere or do something. Communicate with your partner. Don’t dwell in the past; rather live mindfully in this moment and look forward to the future.
9. Manage Expectations
It’s easy to have expectations of what you want your partner to be and do for you, and it’s likely they have expectations of you too. You both probably also have expectations of what your relationship should be or look like.
Have you reflected on these expectations? Are they realistic? Have you talked to your partner about the expectations you have of them and your relationship?
Be upfront about your thoughts and feelings and compromise so you and your loved one can manage your expectations.
10. Learn the Art of Compromise
A relationship is a balance of give and take. It’s likely that your relationship is damaged because one person is doing all the giving and the other person is doing all the taking.
This is something that you need to work on, and with that comes compromising.
You need to decide what works best for you and remember to be considerate of your partner’s needs (especially if you are just taking). If you do the giving, you should learn to take too and accept when your partner wants to be there for you and do for you.
Final Thoughts on Fixing Broken Relationships
It’s heartbreaking when you realize you’ve let your relationship break down, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. You just need to be willing to do the work and go the extra mile – and your partner should be willing too.
It takes two to tango and it takes two to rebuild what’s damaged and broken. With determination and grit, you CAN fix your broken relationship and have the relationship with your partner that you want.
If you are ready to strengthen your love for each other, here are 12 rules you need to follow to grow in your love and relationship.
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