I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. A perfect relationship doesn’t even exist in fairy tales, which have been romanticized and commercialized so someone can make money.
When we do talk about a perfect relationship, we should mean it is perfect in the sense that it is a healthy love and the relationship involves people who are safe and healthy for each other.
So just what is a healthy relationship (aka perfect relationship in this sense of the term) all about?
There are numerous characteristics of a perfect relationship, and here are the most important ones.
Reasons Why You Can Trust Krystyna
What a “Perfect” Relationship Is All About: 13 Characteristics
If you want a healthy relationship with your partner, your relationship should embody these essential characteristics. And if the relationship doesn’t, then you know what you and your partner need to work on.
1. Trust Your Partner and Yourself
A healthy relationship requires you to trust yourself and your partner. You can’t be with someone when you don’t feel safe and comfortable with them and know they have your back, no matter what.
Your partner should have your best interests at heart. They should want the best for you – always. And they should know that they can’t make decisions for you or take options away from you. They’ll simply encourage you to follow your dreams, know your mind, and act in your best interest.
2. Be Intimate With Each Other
Most people assume that to be intimate with their partner means to have sex or be physical with each other in other ways. And they aren’t wrong.
However, intimacy also ecompasses a lot more – you should work on building emotional, spiritual, creative, experiential, and other kinds of intimacy with your loved one.
3. Have Healthy Conflict Resolution Skills
Conflict is inevitable, and it’s normal. There will be disagreements; you and your loved one aren’t the same person, so it’s impossible to think about stuff the same way and have exactly the same views.
It’s important to address conflict in healthy ways, and this is a skill those in a healthy relationship master.
You and your partner need to talk about your differences in a respectful, honest, kind, and polite way. Don’t judge your loved one, and find a way forward that works for you both.
4. Work as a Team to Make the Dream Work
You and your partner are a team in a committed and loving relationship. You support each other, work together to achieve your goals, and tackle problems jointly.
You have your partner’s back, and they have yours. They are your person, and you know they are there for you when you need help, a shoulder to cry on, arms to hug and hold you, and an ear to listen when you need it.
5. Balance Fun with Seriousness
An ideal relationship should be fun AND serious. You should find opportunities to be spontaneous so you can laugh and joke and have a good time. And there should be time for the serious too so you can have tough conversations when needed and deal with situations and challenges in an appropriate way.
Remember that there is always an opportunity for joy, but know when it isn’t the right time or moment to crack that joke.
6. Make Time for You
When you become a couple, that isn’t it. You are still your own person, whether you are with someone or not.
An essential aspect of a perfect or healthy relationship is prioritizing spending time together, but another priority is that you should spend time with you too. You can have some me-time and focus on self-care, you can chill with your mom, or you can hang with your bestie.
Don’t give up who you are just because you are in a relationship. Your partner fell in love with you, so help them stay in love with you by being who you are.
7. Be Curious
When curiosity dies, so does your relationship. You need to be curious about your loved one and be interested in who they are as a person – their hopes, dreams, thoughts, hobbies, career, and more – to have a healthy relationship.
Part of being curious about your partner is accepting them for who they are while finding out what makes them tick (in a non-creepy way) AND realizing that they’ll grow (and that you want them to because you want them to be the best version of themself).
8. Communicate with Each Other
Everyone would mention that communicating with your romantic partner is vital to having a healthy relationship. After all, communication is a cornerstone of your relationship.
You communicate when you get to know each other, you communicate when you work toward your goals and dreams, and you communicate to convey how much you love your partner.
But always talk with your partner, as you don’t want to talk at them. You both need to create a safe space to be vulnerable and share your thoughts, opinions, ideas, successes, and failures.
9. Practice Kindness Each Day
Being kind is free, but practicing kindness on yourself and others like your loved one has so many benefits: boosting confidence, feeling more in control, and being more optimistic and happy.
So when you are kind to your partner, you treat them like they are your best friend – and they should be. You can try to anticipate their needs (but never assume), show up and be there for them, and be thoughtful and considerate.
10. Respect Each Other
Respect is another cornerstone of a healthy relationship. You and your partner aren’t the same person, so you think in different ways, see the world differently, and have different needs and goals. Some of these may overlap, but where you don’t see eye to eye, respect your loved one.
Show respect by valuing your partner as they are and taking care with your words, behavior, and actions.
You and your romantic partner also need to have healthy boundaries – rules or guidelines that demarcate what is healthy and safe for you and what isn’t. Set your physical, emotional, time, sexual, intellectual, and material boundaries, and enforce them so you know where you stand with your partner and they with you.
11. Practice Gratitude
A key characteristic of perfect relationships is being grateful – for being alive, for your health, for the love you have for your partner, for all the joy your loved one adds to your life, and so much more.
It’s essential to not take your partner for granted, but when we become used to someone being there for us, it’s inevitable to stop seeing, valuing, and being thankful for them. Thus, practice gratitude every day.
When you wake up in the morning, write down three to five items about your relationship and partner you are grateful for, and find moments during each day to show your loved one how grateful you are for them. Show your appreciation, be kind, and compliment them.
12. Wholly Accept Your Partner, and Love Them Unconditionally
Complete and utter acceptance and unconditional love are also vital aspects of a healthy (and perfect) relationship.
You should accept your partner for who they are – all their warts and faults and strengths and good qualities. They are imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect just as they are, and so are you.
When you love your partner unconditionally, you always want the best for them – whether that includes you in their life or not. You do for them because you want to, not because it’ll benefit you.
I want to issue a warning here. Loving your partner unconditionally does NOT mean that you accept abuse and other unsafe behaviors from them. Instead, you love them maturely and healthily: you treat them with love and respect while maintaining boundaries and loving yourself too.
13. You Forgive
When I say forgive your partner, I don’t mean in the biblical sense where you forgive and forget and need to turn the other cheek for another slap. Forgiveness isn’t there for the other person; it’s an act you need to do for yourself so you can move on.
When you forgive someone for hurting you, you make a conscious decision to release all and any feelings of vengeance, anger, and resentment toward the person. You accept the reality of what happened, learn what you can from the experience to grow wiser.
It does NOT mean that you should accept mistreatment and abuse from your partner, and if you notice relationship red flags, it’s cause for concern.
A perfect relationship is possible, but not in the sense of what society likes to portray. Instead, a perfect relationship is a healthy relationship – you are a healthy and safe person for your partner, and they are a healthy and safe person for you.
Do you want to grow closer as a couple and strengthen your relationship? Why not check out my 30-day relationship challenge to help you do just that?